Mysterious happenings in Westwood

WESTWOOD, CA—Some eyewitnesses claim to have seen the Northern Lights, or some other electro-magnetic phenomenon. Others swear they saw extra-terrestrial spacecraft. In either case, there are reports early this morning of a drastic rearrangement of the UCLA Bruins’ team roster. Apparently players have gained and/or lost eligibility. Others have switched positions, climbed the depth chart, or gained or lost weight, seemingly overnight. Despite these mysterious events, Coach Boreale has assured the campus that the 2007 season will begin as planned, and the Bruins should be as feisty as ever. In two of the more major occurences, likely attributed to some exteme off-season training regimen, QB Willis Johnson has risen to the top of the depth chart to steal the starting job away from Tommy Leon; also, Karl Thurmond has staged a coup of his own and garnered the top TE spot away from Ken Battle. In related TE news, Mike Downs has transferred back from SJSU and will sit out this season. Tommy Leon could not be reached for comment, but simply muttered something about the “damn Dominicans.” More on this story as details break. Check the wiki for further updates.