Boreale Foreale: Karl, this season you have emerged as the top TE on the Bruins. What brought that on?
Karl Thurmond: Yo, I don’t mean to be rude, but I got to meet my shorty in Redondo in like, 25 minutes, so could you knock it off with the Urkel-talk?
BRFR: Sure. This season has been a break-out year for you, yes?
KT: Shit. I’ve always had the skills to roll with the big dogs. You bitches in the media just been disrespectin’ me for too long, know what I’m sayin’?
BRFR: Is the media taking notice of your play now?
KT: I got mad ups and mad hands. You Poindexters are just now recognizin’ what it is to be Karl Thurmond.
BRFR: Growing up as a white person in Compton must have been difficult.
KT: Ain’t no thing, dog. My homies in the CPT are like my family. They’re my dogs, you know what I’m sayin’? I did what I had to do for my homies and got mad props. Respect, you know what I’m sayin’?
BRFR: What types of things did you have to do for your “homies” in Compton.
KT: What happens on Crenshaw, stays on Crenshaw, ya heard? Me and my dogs are tight, you know. I got their backs.
BRFR: Enough said. Trey Brown is one of your best friends on the team. Why Trey and not another TE?
KT: T-Money keeps it real, you know what I’m sayin’? He’s hard, from the streets of Diamond Bar. We can relate to each other. He also kicks it with some fly bitches.
BRFR: Word is you are currently in a relationship with Cullen Knight’s sister, Taquisha.
KT: Do you see her name tatooed on my anywhere? Sure we kick it sometimes, but we ain’t married. What, you want Karl to have white picket fence and shit? Fuck that.
BRFR: You do spend a lot of time in Redondo Beach.
KT: You think Taquisha is the only ho in Redondo? Hoes in Redondo are like corn in Nebraska. Me and Trey are the huskers. Know what I’m sayin’?
BRFR: I think I do. Back to the team, what is your view of the future of the Bruins TE corps?
KT: I’ll continue to dominate. Ken Battle is going to be a baller. That’s about it.
BRFR: Will Mike Down’s return next season have an impact?
KT: Downs? Shit, if you think having a retard on your team means having an impact. Oh, you didn’t know? Yeah, Down’s Syndrome is named after Mike because he is such a little punk-ass bitch.
BRFR: So you were not excited about his return from SJSU?
KT: He should have kept his little white ass in San Jose. He best not front on me, or mad-dog me anymore this season; I might have to go CPT on his ass.
BRFR: They say you’ve been doing most of the “mad-dogging.”
KT: I just keep it real, yo. Ain’t no thing. Look, Bill Gates, I think Taquisha’s here, and I got to get some Jimmy hats before the Osco closes. Peace.
