Archive for January 31st, 2007

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Recruiting Report for 2008

January 31, 2007

WEEK ONE was quiet for the Bruins, but Coach B made some good contacts.

WEEK TWO COMMIT:

Adam Jones, #5 MLB, 4*

6′3″ 229lbs, West Haven-Sylvan, OR

40: 4.54

Awareness: A+

Vert: 34.5″

Hands: C

Bench: 410

Squat: 705

Adam comes from a prestigious suburb of Portland.  He went the finest schools and acquired respect, refinement, and a healthy marijuana addiction.  Flying in the face of convention, Adam’s habit actually enhances his on-field prowess, hence the A+ awareness rating.  Unfortunately, the excessive cannibis use has the opposite effect off the field.  Adam is clumsy, usually late to meetings, and is a high risk to crash his cruiser bike into any and all campus obstructions. 

 WEEK THREE COMMITS:

Andy Brown, #1 DT, 5* Blue Chip

San Francisco, CA, 6′3″ 295lbs

40: 4.78

Awareness: A-

Vert: 36.9

Bench: 535

Squat: 585

It was not surprising that Andy dominated the SF city sports scene, which is comprised mainly of Asians and lazy, rich white kids.  Though, white, Andy was anything but rich.  His was one of the few white families to reside in the Fillmo’ neighborhood south of Geary St., not to be confused the Fillmore district north of Geary.  Andy got a sports scholarship to St. Ignatius, one of the top North Bay private schools.  Due to their shared appreciation for the reefer, Andy and Adam are expected to get along just fine.

Mike Vaughn, #2 FS, 5* Blue Chip

Rialto, CA, 6′1″ 208lbs

40: 4.56

Awareness: A+

Vert: 43.7″

Hands: B+

Bench: 360

Squat: 535

Mike straight up idolizes Ronnie Lott.  Same hometown, same high school, same missing finger.  Rather than from a football injury,  Mike lost the tip of his left pinky finger by playing with fireworks that his dad brought home from the Pyro Spectaculars factory where he worked…until he lost part of his right hand.  Around Rialto, Mike dad is known as “Three-finger” Vaughn, although that is being generous.  Mike’s great vertical leap was honed by jumping away from the M-80’s his dad was constantly lighting.  Mike would have gone to USC, like his hero, but USC has an anti-fireworks policy in their student handbook.  UCLA has no such rule.

Chris McCullar, #2 FB, 4*

Richmond, CA 6′0″ 215lbs

40: 4.6

Awareness: C-

Vert: 34.5

Hands: A-

Bench: 325

Squat: 470

Pot: Avg

Disc: Avg

Richmond is one of the most dangerous cities in California.  In order to keep him out of trouble, Chris’ mom would take him with her to Contra Costa College, where she taught a cosmetology course.  Chris briefly tried his hand at hair styling, but, as this video shows, he was not very good, and after his sophomore year at Saliesin High School, kept mainly to football.

J.D. Stephens, #13 WR, 4*

Oakland, CA, 6′0″ 234

40: 4.33

Awareness: A-

Vert: 42.2

Hands: A+

Bench: 350

Squat: 470

J.D. is a fast, strong, beefy kid from Oaktown who is coming to Westwood to find a girl with “an L.A. face and an Oakland booty.”  J.D. had an unusual list of after-school activities including, small-time crack dealing, small-time demo taping, and 4th chair Viola for the Oakland Symphony Orchestra.  He also once participated in a poetry slam Berkeley cafe, but got into a fight with a sociology grad student over a clove cigarette.  One of J.D.’s boys might or might not have stabbed the dude.  Needless to say, J.D. has not been back to Berkeley.

WEEK FOUR COMMITS:

Julius Castorani, #4 MLB, 4*

Norwalk, CT, 6′1″ 237lbs

40: 4.49

Awareness: C+

Vert: 40.7″

Hands: C

Bench: 405

Squat: 705

Julius is a distant cousin of former Arizona stand-out, John Castorani.  Julius comes from a very large family.  This is due mainly to his father’s career as an oyster fisherman, and his mother’s employment at Diageo headquarters.  Because of Julius’ unprecedented oyster intake, he is rumored to be the most virile man in Connecticut.  He holds the unofficial Norwalk record for masturbations in one day (19).

Paul James, #7 SS, 4*

N. Royalton, OH, 6′1″ 210lbs

40: 4.33

Awareness: C+

Vert: 40.4

Hands: A+

Bench: 325

Squat: 580

Paul comes from a very rich suburb of Cleveland.  North Royalton High is known for its marching band, and Paul James is known for beating up band geeks.  Paul intends to continue his activities when he gets to Westwood.  Though he is agressive towards to the band members, Paul is a secret music lover, and has released 3 classical French horn albums under the nom de guerre, Pierre La Chambeaux.

Charlie Justice, #11 SS, 3*

Ottawa-Hull, Canada, 6′2″ 171lbs

40: 4.37

Awareness: B+

Vert: 42.8

Hands: B+

Bench: 310

Squat: 485

Charlie is black, black, black.  His father is a 3rd cousin to baseball player David Justice, but was never accepted into the family because of this darker than average complexion.  He moved to Canada and had a brief try-out with Jr. Canadiens until it was discovered he couldn’t skate.  Charlie’s mother was a French-Canadian stripper.  Charlie grew up literally torn between two cultures, as his mother stayed in Hull, Quebec, and his father settled in Ottawa. 

WEEK FIVE RECRUITS:

Stephen Gold, #3 Athlete, 4*

Lancaster, CA, 6′2″ 218lbs

40: 4.63

Awareness: A-

Vert: 36.3

Bench: 370

Squat: 560

Stephen’s family is wealthy.  His father oversees farming operations for one of the largest lettuce farms in the San Joaquin Valley, and his mother is the head pharmacist at Rite-Aid.   Lancaster is fairly racially diverse, with whites, blacks, asians, and hispanics living in relative harmony.  Stephen is very accepting of other cultures and lifestyles.  He is a great athlete and will likely be converted to FB.  He also stole a bunch of prescription Vicodin from his mom and hopes sell “Vikes” at campus parties.

Bruce Prater, #14 WR, 4*

Spring Valley, CA, 6′4″ 208lbs

40: 4.43

Awareness: A+

Vert: 43.4

Hands: A+

Bench: 275

Squat: 415

Bruce’s family never had much money, but they never needed much.  They lived out of a 1968 VW Microbus until Bruce was 13.  He grew up surfing, hanging on the beach, hitting on drunk chicks, and surfing.  Bruce is the classic beach bum and looks forward to catching some sweet waves on Leo Carillo Beach.

WALK ON:

Doug Andrews, FB, Alhambra, CA

Overall #15 Recruiting class in the nation. 

REDSHIRTS:

Doug Andrews

Bruce Prater

Andy Coleman

Julius Castorani

Clint Henry

Charlie Justice

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A tearful goodbye to the seniors as Bruins win Rose Bowl

January 31, 2007

PASADENA, CA–The 12-0 Minnesota Golden Gophers brought their 14 game win streak to the Rose Bowl game, and left with a healthy serving of humble pie. 

 There was much trash talking between the aggressive Minnesota defense and many of the UCLA stand-outs.  Trey Brown, senior Offensive Captain, was overheard referring to Minnesota’s star CB as “Prince in helmet…but worse.” 

The seniors stepped up in their final appearance at the Rose Bowl, in what was essentially a home game for the Bruins.  The game was 14-0 at the half, and 42-0 final.  The Bruins ended the season ranked 14 and Coach B was offered, and accepted, a 2 year contract extension. 

Key senior stats:

 Chris Markey, HB, 15 carries, 78 yards, 1 TD, plus a 52 yard punt return TD.

Jimmy Stevens, FB, 9 carries, 47 yards, 1TD.

Trey Brown, WR, 4 receptions, 72 yards, 1 TD.

 They will be missed.  After the game, 2nd Team All-American lineman, J. Ratliff tried to declare for the NFL draft, but was talked into staying. 

Not so cooperative was Jr. lineman Tavarious Newton, who declared for the draft.  Despite much working by Coach B, Tavarious felt the need to sow his oats in the NFL.  Coach Boreale received a letter from former Arizona standout John Lewis stating that the Russian coal mine was hiring.  He passed the word along to Tavarious, who will soon be looking for back-breaking work.

There were some key losses on both sides to the ball to graduation, and I’m sure the entire Treble wishes them well on their journey.

Matt Slater: former Schiavone candidate, turned solid WR

Steven Urrutia:  Takes angry Mexican playing style to NFL.  If he is not drafted by the Raiders, he will open up a car customizing shop on Wilshire Blvd.

Marty Hampton: Defensive Capt.

Gary Tinsley: Jerk Giant, you, and your 38 pancakes and no sacks allowed, will be missed.

PJ Irvin: 33 pancakes in 07

Kevin Brown: 96 ovr, 29 tackles and 9 sacks in 07

Michael Norris: CB with 24 tackles, 6 INT, and 3 FF.

Most of all, the triple whammy of losing Markey (92 ovr), Stevens (94 ovr), and Trey Brown could have devastating effects on the offensive production.